Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
