Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
