So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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