She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
