with your own penis?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
