i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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