operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
