Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
