he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
