It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
