I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
