She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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