Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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