I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
