He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
