your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
