My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
