Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
