Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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