I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
