now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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