Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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