i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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