I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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