dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
