2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
