similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You are the jesus of drinking
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
