I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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