Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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