i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
