Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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