bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
sarcasm needs its own font
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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