Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
