For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
