my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
