i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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