Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
