Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
