Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
