Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
