i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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