Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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