I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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