My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the day after is always just damage control
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
