I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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