do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
