I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
