I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
