where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
