I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
