how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
