dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
