i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
