remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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