We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
vagina is talking i cant
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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