i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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