I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
