They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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