I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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