How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
